“I thought he was a good man” is what I kept hearing one night as I sat around a table with my closest girlfriends. We sat and swapped those “can’t take em’ back moments” with various men we had dated. It made me so sad to know that each of us had more negative experiences than good ones. This got me thinking, and being an analytical person, I couldn’t help but contemplate the results of our stories
It seemed like there are two types of relationships in this world: healthy and unhealthy. Probably nothing new here, but how does one tell the difference between the two? Especially when so many relationships seem to start out so healthy?
Here are a few things to think about when considering your own relationships. These were taken from a 2009 Article “Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships” by Nikole Allen, describing the signs to consider when you’re in a relationship. Below are a few tips, but you can view them all at: http://depts.washington.edu/hhpccweb/article-detail.php?ArticleID=376&ClinicID=13.
Take note first, it is important to know that all relationships have characteristics from both sides, so that being said, relationships need constant care and attention for you to be sure you are heading in the right direction.
* Put one person before the other by neglecting yourself or your partner
* Feel pressure to change who you are for the other person
* Feel worried when you disagree with the other person
* Feel pressure to quit activities you usually/use to enjoy
* Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship
* Maintain and respects each other’s individuality
* Maintain relationships with friends and family
* Have activities apart from one another
* Are able to express yourself to one another without fear or consequences
* Feel safe and comfortable
So, this year when you find yourself in a relationship, or if you are in one now, know that most importantly you are priceless. No one deserves to be in an unhealthy environment, but we all need to know how to figure out if we are. If you still aren’t sure, ask some friends or family and weigh their input. A New Year is always a chance to make healthy changes for you. Come back for more of life’s uprooting and exploring…
A fellow Sojourner